3 years ago that is in the year 2011- I had taken admission in engineering (please note this was the time when i was not a Baba devotee- and facing the worst most excruciating painful days i must say). After a lot of struggle and sacrifices I had made it through engineering but there occurred so many problems that mentally, emotionally I was in a very chronic depression state. I couldn’t study properly-the consequence was-i not just failed my exam but failed miserable; so miserably that I was even scared of informing my results to my parents. This journey of failures kept on repeating- i started getting feelings like “am I dyslexic etc” Everyone use to pass with flying colours. I was the only one who use to not just fail but fail miserable. Though other students adopted all means to pass i.e. (Saam daam dand bhed). I mean some people use to even cheat in exams. I never resorted to such methods as am of the opinion cheating is worst of sins.
After repetitive failures-I finally made up my mind to call it a Quit and switch on to some other course. I started worshiping Baba from late January 2014 i.e. 23 Jan 2014-prior to that I faced hell like miserable savage days, so much that they cannot be described here. Back of my mind-I always get a feeling-had Baba been there at that time He wouldn’t have cruel things happen to me and would have protected and saved me. Perhaps as that was the time i was meant to suffer. But never mind, i am happy that Baba took me in His shelter now and that now onwards there is no cause of worry or pain-now no more tears no more fear. My father didn’t want me to quit engineering- he was hopeful and positive that i should continue and now that Baba is there to protect me everything would have been fine. But i am emotionally very weak person. In my earlier post I had mentioned how the guy whom I loved left because his sister didn’t approve our relationship and also because she feels that since I have failed and not worth him- that was the time when i experienced worst pain of life. I am really shocked- is passing in some exam and someone’s caste determines a person’s worth or is it the person’s deeds and morals and values. This was the time I experienced the worst pain of life.
I was all alone till 23 Jan 2014 when Baba took me in His shelter and Baba has been protecting me and taking care of me. So this new life is a gift of Baba and I shall always remain indebted to Baba no matter how many births I take. Deep in my heart i am too hurt I had quit my college and engineering because I lacked the strength to face the person who betrayed me. Perhaps this wound will never heal and even if it does-it will leave a permanent mark behind- thus reminding me of that tragedy forever. Anyway- I wanted all my original documents back from my engineering college so that I can take admission in some other course this year. One of my friends who had earlier cancelled her admission said that it took 3 months to get her original documents from college. I was quiet tensed as 15 may 2014 had passed but still I couldn’t gather the courage to visit my college being scared of all the past memories. Meanwhile I use to daily pray Baba to do some miracle and somehow get me my all original documents. With Baba’s Blessings and grace I got it within a week-actually I got it within 3 days to be precise. My Daddy voluntarily told me that he himself will go and get my documents. BABA is full of mercy love and affection- only Baba knows how much emotionally weak- that perhaps visiting that place again would have left me devastated for many reasons, so Baba inspired my Daddy and got my documents through him.
Usually the college authorities tend to trouble children and delay the work. But as my father had personally been there with Baba’s blessing and grace-so the work got accomplished quickly without much trouble. It’s only Baba who knows how tedious the procedure was. Baba not only saved retrieved my documents in the nick of time (at the required time). But also saved me from facing much mental and emotional agony by preventing me from visiting that place which haunts me till day and bring tears to my eyes. I want to say dear brothers and sisters-never be judge-mental of someone on the basis of their caste creed and religions etc as these pseudo things are created by humans on account of their ignorance. I still sometimes cry ceaselessly when that things crosses my mind-the only reason-she didn’t approve our relationship was because of she is of the opinion that I belong to low caste or because I failed. Baba always uses to say “Sabka Malik Ek”. And I have immense faith in Sai Baba- Baba will definitely take care of everything. Anyway- I would like to conclude the post by expressing my thanks to my dear Sai Maa. Thanks a million ton My Sai Maa. No matter how much ever I thank You- it’s just not enough. Love a lot Baba. May Baba Shower His Unconditional Love And Blessings On Each One Of Us Om Sai Ram Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai Ananta Koti Brahmand Nayak Raja Dhiraaaj Yogiraj Para-Brahma Shri Sachidanand Sadguru Shri Sainath Maharaj Ki Jai