I am a software professional living in the US and I came across this beautiful blog a week ago and read few experiences which made me very happy. I also read few comments which said “Baba, I am in deep trouble and why are You not helping me.” I wanted to share my experience to all such Sai devotee. If Baba can bless an ignorant child like me, He will definitely help You out and will give You a life where you no longer need to worry about such worldly things and can pray His leelas all your lives with peaceful and serene souls.
As I share my experiences, I can only say, these are not my experiences but my entire life which is a gift from Baba – my Father, my Guru, my everything. Please bear with me if it is too long. It was in 2000 when I lost my brother. It was like the end of world for my family. We were surrounded by all sorts of problems – My dad used to work in other city and he had made many loans for my brother’s treatment and later resigned his job as he could not bear the loss of my brother alone and came back to our home town as my uncle promised a job in his company. He joined my uncle’s firm and worked for a month, when my uncle said he doesn’t want my dad to work for him anymore. We were jobless, with loans in lakhs and in deep grief about our brother’s death. Still a teenager, I was never drawn to God although my parents were great devotees. I used to obey my parents’ belief towards God and was God fearing but these problems made me angry on God. I came to an impression that God has not rescued us despite the prayers and belief my family had on Him. I felt if God is not listening to us then what is the use of praying?
I used to have a photo of Shri Sai Baba framed in my room. I used to feel He is looking at me but since I was angry on Baba, I never used to even look at it. I joined engineering and I was a foolish person who was completely involved in worldly matters and did not like praying to God. I was interested in a guy and we were lovers for more than 1 year. That guy was involved in many relationships and I did not know all these. I did not know he was deceiving me. I was in love with this guy with all my heart but he turned out to be such a brat. One day when I came to know all these things about the guy through my friends and asked him for a clarification. He called me to meet him at a place different than our regular meeting point. Very casually I lied to my mother saying I was going to my friend’s place and was leaving home. My mother who was doing pooja called me and applied Vibhuti on my forehead. I went to meet him and saw he was all alone there. While I was asking him why did he lie to me regarding his other girl friends, he tried to force me. I do not know what made me do this – I was chanting Om Sri Sai Ram in my mind, pushed him away firmly and left that place right away. He got angry that I rejected him and said that he was with me all these days only for this day and he does not need my stupid love and care.
I understood how cheap he was. One thing was even more shocking to me. I was so into wrong path all these days with a wrong man and did not even liked looking at Baba’s photo then Why did I chant Om Sai Ram? Why did Baba come to my rescue? With all such questions in my mind and trying to get out of the betrayal I had – I asked my mother, what is in the Sai Charitra? She is a devotee of Shri Sai and said, it is about the life of Sai, His preaching and devotees’ experiences and advised me to read it. I did the Saptaha and I could see myself becoming stronger from inside. My heart was healing and when the guy started calling me back trying to get me back, I was in a state to say – “stay away from my life forever.” I started to think about my parents. They lost their only son and what if they get know that their daughter – who was their only hope of living was involved with a guy who is a brat. I finished the Saptaha but I was still not contented. I loved reading Sai Charitra. I felt as if I was with Baba and there was purity and divinity all around. I still remember the tears of joy I had while I was reading the chapters of Sai Charitra for the first time.
I started doing Nitya Parayan of Sai Charitra. I felt the only solution to get away from all this thing was to go abroad for my studies. That way, I can fulfill my mother’s dream of her child studying abroad, I can share my dad’s financial problems by getting a decent job after my masters and I can get some life away from my miserable love life. But my uncles and aunts – on whom I had high hopes that they would fund my education; were against my dream of me going abroad. They said you are a girl and your parents have to still plan for your marriage. So, stop dreaming when you can’t afford it. Still, I believed in Sai. I felt this plan of studying abroad was Baba’s wish and I knew Baba will make this happen for me. Though every step in the application process was a hurdle for me with limited finances, I managed to cross all those hurdles with Baba’s grace. I remember sitting in front of Sai in our pooja room in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, feeling stressful and tensed whether I was doing the right thing.
I was feeling guilty as I was making my parents ask money from my grandparents and uncles for me. I remember crying in front of Baba, for such a miserable life I am having. I was only in my 20’s and I faced all sort of problems by then. I had financial problems, lost someone close to my heart -my brother, deceived by a guy, heard taunts from uncles and aunts, while, most of my friends enjoyed a secured lifestyle. But when Baba showers his blessings on his children, how long does it take for the problems to solve? I got admits from all the universities I applied. I also got Rs. 15 lakhs scholarship from one of the universities. The bank which refused to give me student loan because of my dad’s low credit score considered to give me loan as I was awarded a scholarship. Even then, my relatives said, why would you send your only daughter that far and waste so much money on her? Why don’t you get her married to some clerk or someone?
They asked my parents to drop the idea of sending me abroad and said they are taking risk on the security of the only child they are left with. I felt very bad that time but my Baba planned even more for me which I did not imagine even in my dreams. I came to know my relative’s son was interested in me. He was working in US. It was a good alliance and I liked him but my parents and I knew it was impossible as we were struggling financially. But the guy said, he liked me very much and would wait until I finish my studies. I spoke to him about my idea to support my dad even after marriage and he said he is a guy who believes in his God’s blessings and his talent and will not ask what I will be doing with my salary. He did not even ask for dowry or a lavish wedding. I got engaged to him during my masters. I got a job in a fortune 500 company immediately after completing my masters and I married him the next year. My dad still had the financial problems but with blessings of Baba, the marriage went on very well.
My in-laws are great devotees of Shri Sai and they treat me like their daughter. I helped my dad clear all his loans and my husband was with me in this. My husband is a great devotee of Sai Baba and has been doing Nitya Parayan since his engineering days. Even though we have busy schedules we do Sai pooja and Nitya Parayan of Sai Charitra. After all, I am having a new life here in the US which I am leading as a blessing of Baba. At times, I really wonder if this life is really mine. I remember having sleepless nights crying in front of Baba and even now I have sleepless nights because I cannot thank my Father enough for giving me such a life. Now, me and my husband are looking for a job change and planning for kids. I recently asked Baba to give me an indication that His blessings are there with me in this. That very night, I had a dream that Baba gave me flowers. What other indication can I ask from Baba, and what more do I want, when my Father is there for me to listen to me right from my little wishes (there are numerous miracles of Baba I experience in day-to-day life which I cannot even list them completely) to the biggest of my problems.
Let us surrender to our Father with all our heart and soul. Think as if you are holding His hands and following Him like a daughter or son following their parents. This is our foolish human psychology to trust people and cry after getting deceived but question the existence of God even when He is making us experience His presence. Dear Sai devotees, let us drive away the ignorance by chanting Om Sai Ram and never lose faith in Baba. He is not a human who can mislead us. He is our God. He will show us the right path. Have faith and be patient. May all our problems come to an end with blessings of Baba . Om Sai Ram.