Anonymous Devotee from USA says: Dear Hetal ji, you are doing such a wonderful job here. You are giving platform to Sai devotee to keep their faith and patience in Sai baba. I am really small devotee of Sai baba. Sai baba came into my life through a movie when I was about 12 years old or something. I was at my auntie’s house and I was just surfing TV and there was a movie going on called Shirdi Sai baba. That time I really didn’t know anything about Him. I just knew there is a big temple of Sai baba in Shirdi where my parents and my younger brother visited once while I was participating in school program. I watched whole movie and somehow I was connected to Sai baba since that day, although I never prayed Him until 2010 end.
I was in relationship when I was 17 years old. Back then my parents and her elder brother knew about it and they were okay with that as long as our relation does not affect our study. My father already warned me if anything happens, doesn’t fall apart; you have a long way to go, stay strong since my only weakness is my heart. I came to USA in January 2008 on student visa. Since it was a long distance relationship and we were immature, we broke up. I came out of it with help of my family and friends although it took me 4 to 5 months. I already moved forward and there was no pain anymore. Even though after break up, I always contacted her when I went to India (3 times, but we never met for our own good) and on top of that we had few online conversation sometimes (7 to 8 times from 2009 to 2012). We always guided and advised each other.
Meanwhile I came to know more about Sai baba through my house owner and I started pray to Baba around after October 2010. Back then I wasn’t praying for her, I had some other wish in my mind. I had full faith in Baba that time and I was assured that my wish would be fulfilled. But as time passed by I started to loose faith & patience in Sai baba and I stopped praying to Sai baba at some point in 2011 end. I started to believe that there is no God in this world. I started to believe that you can’t get everything by being good person in this Kalyuga, you have to be bad person sometimes. So I have done so many sins since then.
Meanwhile I got chance to visit Shirdi during my trip to India in 2012 (May to august). I was so happy that He called me. I came back USA. I was busy with my routine life. Suddenly I got text from my ex in December 2012 and it happened after one year. It kept going on everyday. Since it was her final semester of computer engineering, I helped her in her final project and encouraged her to apply in USA for August semester and she started preparation. At other side I was firmly believed that it’s all happening by Sai baba’s grace. First time after 5 years she apologized for whatever happened back then and she admitted her mistake and other side I convinced her that it all happened since we were immature. Finally I hold back Sai baba’s lotus feet in April 2012. I quit my all bad habit like Drinking, smoking.
During this time I had beautiful dream of Sai baba where He told me that you will have your love back but you just have to work hard for it. In August 2012, she stood for visa and she was rejected while I was doing whole day Sai satcharitra parayan on that day. I lost my faith again and I started smoking and drinking again since she told me that she will only go for once if she is rejected, she won’t go again. But to my surprise after around 10 days, she texted me and told me that she went again and she got visa today. I was so happy and apologized to Sai baba for my mistake. She came and all went well for a month.
During this month, I had faith in Sai baba but I didn’t pray to Baba as I got busy into her. Suddenly a misunderstanding arose between us due to my small mistake. I tried to explain her but she isn’t ready to believe me at all. It’s been 3 months now; she doesn’t even talk to me. At first I though it is Baba’s punishment for forgetting Him when she entered into my life. Once again I apologized to Baba and tried to have full faith in Him but I feel like Baba isn’t ready to forgive me this time. Sometimes I feel like there isn’t really any God, its just the life. I just don’t want to lose her again. I am in complete mess now. She is really nice person and I am not that easy person to fall for any girl. I really enjoy company of her, she makes me happy.
I just have simple humble request to baba, “Hey Sadguru Sainath, forgive me that I forgot You when she came back into my life. I would never repeat that mistake again. I would love to stay at Your Lotus Feet. I know I have done bad karmas in this birth and I might have done bad karmas in past birth and I want You to punish me for my all-bad karmas but I have humble request to You that either divide my punishment to my coming births or give me punishment in this birth but not in her case. If you give me illness for a long time and she is with me, I am ready to accept it with my whole heart. I have no wish other than she comes back in my life and I will never ask for any other wish. If this is my punishment then please always bless her with happiness in her life. She is really wonderful person. “ Once again I thank You whole heartily to Sai baba for giving me such a wonderful family and friends. They have always stood there by me no matter what. I have no idea what Sai baba has for me but I wish you all to get blessed by Sainath. Anant Koti Brahmand Nayak Raja Dhiraj Yogi Raj Par Brahm Shri Satchidananda Sadguru Sai Nath Maharaj Ki Jai