Request For Prayer And Clarification Of Doubt – Anonymous Devotee

Anonymous Devotee from USA says: I am a devotee of Sai Baba from 2007. Before that I was an ardent devotee of Shiva and Tirupathi Balaji. My faith in God has been made absolute by certain experiences and I always used to consider myself lucky until recently. I receive solace by reading the experiences of other devotees and I thank everyone involved for that. I also want to apologize if my post is too long.

Dear Devotees, I really appreciate any clarification of my doubts. To describe myself in short, I have had various health and personal problems in my life, but thankfully by His Grace, my parent’s love and my friends and family, I have been able to overcome it all and keep a positive attitude in life. All the problems in school and undergrad shaped me into a confident, independent person and strengthened me mentally.



Professionally, I am a hardworking, studious person. I will not say that I am 100% hardworking, but I want to do well in whatever I do, and by God’s grace, I have had not issues with education. I never had to struggle too much. I performed very well in 10th std, in 12th standard my performance was not good, partly due to personal issues in school. The personal issues in school were that people used to talk badly about me and call me names. I managed to see the true colors of people, and learned not to trust everyone and anyone. My true friends stood by me, helped me carry on. Similar incidents happened in college as well, since some of those unsavory people ended up in my college too. But I found some amazing friends; did well in college and found a great job, and life was good. All is by God’s grace. It was in college that my belief in Sai developed due to a friend and professor. I never had boyfriends. I easily do not like anyone, and even if I do, I do not commit easily if I felt it was wrong. Even liking some lead to a lot of heartbreak for me, so I never easily assume anything or commit anything.

After this several big incidents happened over a period of six years and I turned to Sai for guidance. I took major decisions only after asking Sai and never without. I came to a new place and entered into a relationship, which I believed was blessed by Sai. He indicated things in my dreams. But my professional life fell apart, and my relationship also fell apart because of stress from professional failure, family and other circumstances.

Immediately after this, I asked Sai to help and guide me, and by some miracle I got a Sai picture saying “Why fear when I am near” in my phone. He never tells me that he is happy because he broke up. I kept asking him, because I thought if know he is happy. I can maybe move on. He also says he has feelings. I asked his friend if it’s all over right. First he said yes, a week later after speaking to him. He said he can’t say it’s over. I asked Sai to bless and guide me, and to make me choose the right path. That if he was meant to be, to reunite me with him, but if he was not, to give me strength to move on. But all signs I got were positive, that we will be reunited.

I met a Saint from my city. I was thinking what if he says that this is not meant to be – but I wanted it to be a verbal sign from God – kind of irrevocable. The Saint told me that my troubles professionally will end soon, and my personal life will also become better soon. He asked me if I found someone for myself. I didn’t answer. He said I will be happily married by my parent’s wishes. I thought, ok so it’s arranged marriage. He asked me again if I met someone, and finally my father said yes, and told him about my ex-boyfriend and also about our fights. The Saint said he is a great guy, don’t let ego interfere, told my parents that he will make me very happy and told me to come visit him with my boyfriend and bring the wedding invitation. Again this is a positive sign.

So many positive signs I get. Every sign I ask for. I wanted a chance to read aloud Vrat katha in the temple on a Thursday. I nearly did not get a chance, but someone saw me and asked me if I wanted to read and took the book away from the other person and made me read it. Even the breakup made me realize how I had changed from the person I used to be. I took this as an opportunity to correct myself, to remove all bad influences from my life. I also realized how much he cared for me, and how much I hurt him by being insecure. I thank Sai for making me realize my mistakes.

Also, I kept having so many new new problems every week. Again I won’t go into details that one day I
questioned myself if God was truly there. I removed all my prayer items, broke a few, and was so angry. I told God, if He was angry with me to punish me. Next day again I met with unluck, but my God made sure I was sufficient support to manage. I realized later, that no matter what trouble I faced, He made sure I had the strength and support to face it.

Except in my relationship. No improvement there at all. We still talk, but it’s always me initiating contact. So now I am questioning as to whether I assumed all these signs from Sai. I honestly came to this country only after a dream in which Sai showed me studying in the USA and being happy. I took a long time to commit to him, only after knowing for certain that I won’t regret the decision; and it’s Sai’s will.

Am I being delusional? I have faith in abundance, and I was trying patience. But my parents cut short the time for me. So, I cannot afford patience now. Please pray for me. I am now a shell of what I used to be. I have lost confidence, happiness and optimism. Please pray to Sai to help me regain what I have lost. Teach me how to believe – inspite of all the positive signs, I question Him. Tell me if I misrepresented the signs? If not, tell me ways to control my mind. Thank you, Jai Sai Ram.


© Devotees Experiences with Shirdi Sai Baba

Anil Gupta
Anil Gupta
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45 Comments

  1. Dear Sai sister, I hope you have got your love back by Sai's Grace. I am going through the same problem. I met my ex-gf accidentally after 5 years and we started conversation. After few days of conversation, she apologized me and told me that it was her mistake that she didn't understand me. on top of it she also told me that she will always care for me and she will never hurt me again. I thought it was all because of Sai's grace. but 3 months back due to small mistake of mine, suddenly she broke up and she doesn't even talk to me now. I lost all my confident and happiness like you. like you sai also showed me a dream and he told me that i will get my love back but i have to work hard. I am ready to wait for her but the way she is moving right now, i can't concentrate on my goal. I do have question to all sai devotee's, why baba is only give pain to soft and weaken heart people? honestly, she is a wonderful person with full of passions and goals. she always keeps people happy around her. Dear sister, I can only suggest you that move on with life, we can't do anything in it. we fought for it but i guess we aren't made for it. I know it's completely unfair. I also have doubt if there is any god. It was the one and only wish that i have asked to baba.

    • dear devotee i can understand ur situation i know how painfull situation ur facing but please dont loose ur faith on baba…if u get any doubt about god presence u recollect what baba has done to u in tha past….u are so lucky baba came in ur dream and asked to do hardwork….u please follow baba words..i also faced same situation i was in love with a person but my parents selected another person.then i became very low..i cried a lot in front of baba i thought i cannot get a person like my bf who cares me soo much…then i called my bf and asked him to talk to my parents but at that time he was afraid and he didnt do..my marriage was over with some other person.now i am very happyyyyyy…i got a lovely person in my life with baba grace..then i relaised what baba has done to me.and also i came to know abt my ex-bf true colore he is very childish he keep on blaming me.if i got married to my ex-bf i am sure i couldnt be happy …baba will show us right path for his devotees please dont loose faith

    • I just want to be happy again. Whatever it is, I want to stop crying and stop feeling sad. I've been trying to make my situation better professionally, but I only see failure. Personal life, I don't even want to begin. Whatever he has decided should happen in my life, let it happen. But the sadness should stop.

    • I understand it completely as i am going through the same problem. I stop praying to baba now because if i pray i only ask for what my wish is. if she comes back in my life, i will go back to his lotus feet and always stay there. try to involve yourself in other activity. try to go out with your friends. Do the things you like. Time is the best medicine for this pain. I hope you will come out of it very soon.

  4. Dear Sai Sister, continue to have firm believe on our beloved Sai, surely he will take care of your situation and solve your issues. Om SaiRam.

  8. Dear sister please keep firm believe on HIM as he answers everyone's prayer.BABA will definitely give you the best in your life…If possible start reading Sai Satcharitra you will get great relief i am telling you from my personal experience and please be patience and keep faith…OM SAI RAM…

  10. I am sure Baba would have answered your queries and shown you a solution or the way ahead by now 🙂

    O Deva, forgive us our mistakes like a mother forgives and forgets the bad doings of her children. Bless us O Sadguru that we stay true to our heart and think of everyone's good instead of being greedy for the self.

    Thank You for all the Miracles and the Love & Peace O Sai 🙂

    Jai Sairam
    Sharma

  12. om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam om sairam

  14. dear devotee asked only one thing to maintain patience and faith on him…but we are not doing that single thing to him and asking more and more from him…please dont louse faith he will definetly take care of ur situation…..all the best
    om sai ram

  16. Yet again another experience to make me feel worse. I dont know what baba really wants…I am in a similar situation when even I have got so many positive signs from baba and then things have suddenly turned negative and this cycle has been happening for past 4 years now since I asked baba for help I really dont understand what all this is and as you said sister even I dont have time to wait its not right that baba makes me wait for so long and then suddenly gives me such horrible shocks. So like you even I have questions for him as to what does he really want? if he wants to give something then why make the person go through so much pain and why mess the thing so much that we lose interest in whatever we wished for and live a disillusioned and hopeless life?
    anyways I had really expected that I get some answer to all this but no use I feel we just have to pass through all this drama and keep quiet and keep tolerating this is all baba's devotees need to do I feel but sometimes it really kills me to see other people around who are not his devotees and still their dirty plans and intentions also succeeding and we inspite of being his devotees have to suffer so much and also feel so powerless and meek. And anyone say nething but being powerless helpless definitely does not make any one feel better its the worst feeling. If god really loves those who try to follow the path shown by him in what way does he support them and encourage them to continue walking on that path? by throwing more obstacles and stones at them instead of rewarding them? If this is what gods plan iis then sorry no one would be encouraged to walk on the path shown by him and only the devils in this world will win. I so wish baba has some answer to all these questions and as per his promise he immediately provides one clearly without leaving it on me that I assumed anything. I think its just pointless talking about this or even trying to seek any answers to this. If baba really loves his devotees he will come and not leave us in such horrible state and if he doesnt it means we have been dropped from his shelter like unripe fruits.

    • You and I should be friends. Sometimes it's the same thing I think. I have willfully tried never to hurt anyone. I have never pretended to like someone, I've always tried to nice. Ofcourse if people step outside bounds and do unreasonable things, then I've been rude to him. I see people who cheat, who discard people every month, all of them being happy, because they can deal with issues like this. Because I care about people's feelings, and my own conscience never lets me do things like this, I get affected so bad. It's been so long and I try to be patient. But everyday is a strain. Everyday I am happy to fall asleep because my mind shuts down and I hate waking up. How much longer should I live like this. People become stronger with adversity. But if at he adversity never abates, we end up losing hope and positivity.

    • Reading all these experiences made me make some comments, I am pretty much in the same situation for the last 3 years on my personal relation. However all questions, signs give a positive reply only to find out rude solid shocks coming unexpectedly. Extremely difficult to draw a line between Faith & your own decision, specially in matters of relations as one step can lead to a disaster. so how long does one keep on waiting specially when time is running out. Sure Baba has something planned for us but how do we know & which direction to take. Baba has said "Trust in me me & your prayers will be answered" but what to do in extreme circumstances.Guess it is a question with no fixed answer. May Baba bless us all.

  19. OM SAIRAM,OM SAIRAM,OM SAIRAM,OM SAIRAM,
    OM SAIRAM,OM SAIRAM,OM SAIRAM,OM SAIRAM,
    OM SAIRAM,OM SAIRAM,OM SAIRAM.

    PLS HELP ME AND SAVE MY LIFE SAIMAA. JAI SAIRAM.

  22. om sri sai ram
    please bless my son avik. make him to come out of his break up.
    please give him all happiness to forget.send him angel .
    please baba , i ll give my ega n pride. tc of him.
    give him happiness , he should be able to overcome this.

  23. Baba donot know when will you listen to that girl's wish to get her bf back but i request please baba do it soon for so that she can achieve her goal in career. Baba please do not test her more by giving positive sign that YOU are always there to help…

  26. Jai Sai Ram ji ki to all,

    Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai
    Sai Sai Sai Sai Sai
    Sai Sai Sai Sai

    Love You Baba ji
    Sabse ZYAADA ji

  28. Anantha Koti Brahmanda Nayaka Rajadhi Raja Yogi Raja Para brahma Shri Sachidananda Samartha Sadguru Sainath Maharaj Ki Jai.
    SARVAM SHRI SAINATHARPANAMASTHU.
    Baba I am scared of the dream Baba, please forgive me and save me and my family Baba. Please Baba.

  29. Baba, i thought of sharing my pain but seeing so many other brother and sister in same condition I am feeling bad to write it again. For today you have had enough of scoldings and anger of your own kids. See what has happened to your world. You created LOVE to give your kids a means to be happy but now I guess this is the sole reason why people are in sorrow, trauma or anything you can describe it as. Sometimes I feel I will ask everyone not to fall in love. But I guess it comes as bad luck to some people like me. First few days you feel like blessed by GOD. But as time passes you realize the same GOD has cursed you and having fun seeing you suffering. You better erase the word called LOVE from your world, the word PAIN will loose it's value by it's own.

    Really it's tough to wait for the time to answer your questions. But to every one who are in pain because of so called thing "love" I will suggest better start living, enjoying and planning for today. Try not to think about future. As is said "Time will heal every pain and Baba will answer your question."
    Bliss to all devotees in pain. Om Sai Ram

  31. Im really mesmerised reading today's post and comments pa.You are sayin something indirectly to me.I havent got the exact meaning but can feel something.Thanks for replying me through these devotees.As one devotee said i want to live my life as a fresh one everyday.Give me that power to live my forecoming days pa.Bless all people in the world including the ones who does wrong things.Show us the right way pa.Goodnight pa!

  32. I have a question and a lot of confusion..I am 32 years old and i have known a guy for almost a year..
    He promises to marry me, but keeps postponing it..because of a slightly less hair in the front portion of my head..i have been getting this treated and this has become much better but not 100%…I sometimes feel really worthless ..as if it was supposed to based on my looks..he should not have dated me for a year..specially when i was as old…as I was a year ago..I am fed up..now..He says next year Feb…but i seem to have lost faith…Baba in one of the answers said ..i have to wait for sometime..But I feel, if someone wants to marry you only because of your looks is that right ?

  33. Om Sai Ram

    I'm shocked to see todays post and comments. I am in the same and horrible situation waiting for love for the last 7 years and am running out of time too. But I am very very sad to see all the comments against Baba.

    Dear sisters and brothers I wish to remind you all and myself that once Baba takes us in his sharan he will never leave us behind. There are many love stores that didn't end well but the lives of those people ended to be happy. At the same time there are thousands of couples that had successful love stories and are happy. Someone mentioned that people that are not baba devotees and do bad things end up being happy so why should we pray? And a couple of others who wrote they stopped praying to Baba as things are not going their way.

    I don't mean anything wrong and I do understand your pain as I have been going through the same myself with Unbearable tears, never ending issues, hopes that don't come positive, bad remarks, fights, what not everything. But what I have learnt is that during all these years is that Baba has been with me through all stages, Made me read Satcharithra, pray every day, few other Parayans, 9 Thrusday vrats, 41 days vrat to win your love, 40 day candy pooja, other sai pooja, mantra, and a few other things. I feel blessed, thankful and grateful for whatever he has done for me. Everyday I pray to him to change my situation. I am living in this world in hope that he would look after me no matter what.

    People who say that this is the worst phase, what about all those people who don't even have basic needs? Baba has given us so much so please don't undermine his love. He has asked Shraddha and Saburi from his devotees and he makes us go through numerous tests to ensure we have our faith. He prolongs the process so that we can pay for our past lives karmas in the smoothest way possible, Makes us learn to be patient so that we can reach the step when the time is right. No matter what he never leaves us. Please don't doubt his love or blame him and add to our bad karma. And I know its easier to say all this but I am in a situation where I felt I wish I wasn't alive so please don't think i'm giving a lecture for nothing. I know what you are feeling but all I know is no matter whatever happens Baba will be with us. He is our mother, father, god and guru and he will never want to do anything to hurt his children. Whether I know it or not now, it will be for our own good.

    One last thing, please do not make a deal or contract with Baba to do something if your wish is fulfilled. Do we want Baba in our lives just to fulfill wishes? NO We want Baba to be with us forever and ever and teach us to be in a good path. In that case why wait until something is done. Whatever it is, lets try to add good deeds to our daily lives. Spend 5 minutes to read about Baba leelas, another 5 minutes to pray and seek forgiveness to Baba for all the bad deeds and ask him to bless us with strength more than anything else to pass these tests of life and to bless us with his love at all times.

    Sorry Baba if this comment hurt anyone but I only wrote what I felt. I'm sorry on behalf of those tired children of yours that are finding it hard to pass your tests. Please give them strength Baba and show them a way to fulfill their wishes and find happiness. Please be with us at all times Baba. I love you so much. If there is something right and meaningful in my life that is you and I thank you for your love…

    Sai Saranam

  34. I will pray to Baba to help you also. Don't worry, despite the fact that sometimes we see signs of good fortune by Baba, depending on our past karma, our lives will play out. Baba will surely help guide you and if this guy is truly the one selected by Baba, He will be crazy about you and will always want to talk with you, be there for you and do all sorts of things for you. If this guy is not interested and enthusiastic about investing in the relationship, then you should find someone who is excited and thrilled about being with you because you are after all Baba's daughter and Baba's daughter deserves the very best. Om Sai Ram!

  36. I cant imagine this is happening to people, it happened with me twice, selfish people around us, there is no real meaning of love or marriages left in this world. I have been through so much pain couple years back. Baba showed me more then enough good signs to carry on and then suddenly one bad thing came in front of my face. The real face and mind of the person. That's it I stopped it, no more love or marriage or any kind of relationship. I do feel lonely sometimes but I have left at baba itself. I got divorce at the age of 25 with one daughter. I fell in love after 5 years and long last for 1n half year then broke up, then after 10 years of my divorce my ex wanted to came back to me. I told him Big NO. I am not interested in any love or marriage. I don't believe this system anymore. Just be a good human, help others, live your life fully n move on. Baba will take care the rest. Do Not worry Sai Sisters and Brothers all of you will be fine. Its just phase of life. Good Luck and Sai Ram.

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