First of all I start writing this experience with innumerable sorry. Please pardon me Baba for my senseless attitude, as a normal human being I prayed You with all dedication when I wanted something. But forget You all of a sudden, when I got what I wanted. Sorry sorry Baba, I know You will never hate Your children, but please forgive me for my disgraceful actions.
I request all Sai devotees to read my previous experience in our blog. As given in the experience, with Baba’s blessings I cleared 1st group of Chartered Accountancy and got exemption in one paper in 2nd group in May 2012. Then I started preparing for the remaining 3 papers in 2nd group and my exams were due in November. I prayed Baba with all love and dedication and worked hard.
The exam days started nearing. As no one can escape the madness of mind, I felt so proud of my preparations and was so confident of writing the exams well. The ego sprouted so fast and I started dwelling with it. November 12th, 2012 – Advanced Management Accounting started. I saw the question paper and I could figure out most of the questions in it. When I started writing, I could not produce what I am conceiving in mind. I struggled to finish off each and every question. I striked out the answers terribly and felt extremely bad of my presentation. I felt like shouting that I don’t want to write this exam and tear away the paper. I did not know what exactly happened to me during the exam. Somehow I managed to complete the paper and walked towards home with all disappointment as I took an oath that this is the last attempt that will decide whether my Chartered Accountancy career continues or ends here.
I cried before Baba as why it happened like this. When I started introspecting, I felt the truth as how I was filled with ego that I am going to do everything without thinking of Baba’s blessings and presence so far in my life. I moaned to my close friend Divya about all these. She patiently listened to all my foolishness. She said Baba will not punish you so severely for this. He just wanted to remind you that you are going in a wrong way at the very beginning itself. So stay calm and peaceful and have fullest faith on Him.
Then I realised all my mistakes and wrote the other exams well with Baba’s compassion. At the end of exams I felt that if I clear of the first paper, definitely I can get through the group. But I did not have the heart to pray that I should clear the paper. I got fixed that whatever Baba gives me I will accept whole heartedly. The results were supposed to be declared on January 21st.
Another close friend of mine – Shwetha, who is also an ardent Sai devotee, called me a week before results. She is such an optimistic personality. She asked me to visualise that I have become a Chartered Accountant and cherish and enjoy it as a powerful visualisation. I felt so happy and took it as Baba’s words and started visualising it every day.
On January 20th 2013, I went to a temple called Daadikombu near Dindigul, Tamilnadu with my close neighbour. Only very few perumal temples have Kala Bhairavar and this temple is one among them. I can’t explain the experience I got in that temple. The most beautiful perumal I have ever seen. In the dark sanctum sanctorum only with the light of diyas the perumal and amma looked out of the world. I felt all ecstatic and horripilate at the sight.
The temple, idols and sculptures are all so divine and lively as though they are standing and talking to us in a human form. At that moment I felt that I need nothing in my life, even if I die now, it would be a happy ending. Then the sun rose to January 21st 2013. Usually the results are announced around 2 pm. I got call from Divya around 12 pm that results were announced. I told my roll number and my heart started trembling fast. She shouted in joy that you have passed. Oh my god. I am a Chartered Accountant, my life’s wish, aim, career, joy. It has happened. The day has come. I cried in joy and danced like a kid here and there. She started telling the marks – Advanced Management Accounting – 67. Oh man, the paper I feared that would be a cause for failure. I got highest marks in it. My total for the group is 231 out of 400. It’s not just a success, a success with colourful marks. A success I have not dreamt off.
At that moment I realised, no one can understand what you are doing Baba. Only You know what is best for us. Even though we cry, pray, accuse, praise You for something, You know when, where and how to give it to us. The plan, sketch, screen play You are designing for each one of our lives are beyond imagination. I am a vermin, who does not deserve so much in life, still You shower Your unconditional love and blessings on me.
Then the next phase of life began – job. I attended interview of a famous educational institution of a cement conglomerate and got through it. But due to some reasons, I did not accept the employment. After that in the campus interview and other interviews I attended, I could not succeed in it. I felt so bad of myself and was puzzled how my career is going to be. Then I was called for an interview from an international accounting firm in Coimbatore. On the interview day, I had this thought only, “Baba, You are going to talk, I will not bother as how I am going to perform, whether I will get this job or not. If You want this job for me, You will do whatever is needed.” I did the written test well. The HR was so sweet and made me so comfortable. I answered everything without any fear and inhibitions. Then I was sent for interview with the Managing Director.
The MD is such a down to earth human being. He shared all his life’s experiences and I got so inspired with the way he accepts and live life. For the first time, I felt so good of myself after attending an interview. He said that they are happy about my profile and wanted to put me in a leadership position. Some people around me discouraged saying that the pay is very low, you can try for something else. But I felt this is a place where human beings are respected for what they are. This is a place where I will find a new me. This is a place where I will grow and flourish. So I kept aside all the criticisms and joined the company. Now I have lived two successful months in the company and I am very much happy about the work culture and learning here. During my job search, I was fixed with Chennai and Bangalore only. But Baba had different plans and brought me here. The one, which is tailored for me, which make me understand myself better and better.
After all these happy events, I totally forgot that I promised to write my experience after I clear the exams. One day my sister asked why did not you write your experience still? I felt it as a slap from Baba “Idiot you have forgotten me.”. I can’t do anymore like this Baba. Every minute You assure me that You are with me always – Antharyami. I need not search You anywhere outside. My heartfelt and sincere thanks for giving me beautiful persons in my life. Without them I am not what I am today. Koti koti pranams Baba.
I would like to specially mention about my friend Shwetha here. Her devotion and pure bhakthi on Baba is un-comparable. She is the one who always reminds me that I have a long way to go in bhakthi and it is not just prayers alone, it is the highest form of love. The pure love runs in the entire family. Her cute daughter Ananya – 2 years old. I always feel like prostrating before the kid. When she wakes up in the morning, she opens her eyes before the portrait of Sai and always chant Om Sai Shri Sai. Even the hardest of hearts melt on hearing the little one chanting namah. Whenever she is taken to Sai temple, she dances with joy and run all around there. She will cry like anything when leaving out of the temple.
I don’t know what Baba has done to the cute kid. I don’t know what exactly Baba means to her. Such a pure love is a salvation for all of us. It is beyond explanation. Such an unconditional love without expectation. You choose Your devotee Baba. With all devotion and respect I bow before You Sainath. You are our way. You are our life. You are our destiny. Without You, this life is just a vacuum. JAI BOLO SAI MAHARAJ KI.