Sai Sister Bhavana Ji from India says: Hello! I am Bhavana from Hyderabad. Please do not disclose my email id. I would like to describe how Baba has changed my life and how He showered His blessings on me. I got acquainted with Baba, when I was 3 years old. From then, I believed that He is everything to me, but I never took Him very seriously and not even used to pray properly. I always used to talk with him just like I speak to my friends and do all childish things like saying Hi , Bye, Your dress color is good, I am eating ice cream, but I won’t give You and pinching His cheeks, all such childish things.
I had lot of love and respect for Him in my heart and also fear that He will be watching me, if I make any mistakes He would punish me and I used to follow righteous path. But I don’t know why I used to behave that way and I got habituated like that. I always asked for silly things like help me catch my college bus etc. I had been like this till last year. But He never got angry on me and He showed such affection on me that what I am now is only because of Baba. I am so lucky that I got His blessings otherwise my life would have become horrible and meaningless. He molded my character and taught me the Right and Wrong in each and every aspect.
As I mentioned above how I used to behave like a kid with Baba, I behaved the same way even after turning 20. It was last year in June 2012 that I realised Him and it was from then He dragged me closer to Him. I was in a horrible situation in June 2012. I got stuck in a big problem and have been suffering since October 2011. I don’t know why I didn’t ask Baba for help, I think I had totally forgotten that Baba is there with me at that time. But in June 2012, my situation became worst and my life became hopeless and every second became hell for me. Then one day I don’t know how suddenly I remembered Him. I cried like hell and prayed Him whole heartedly to forgive me and help me and relieve me from the torture and that was the first time I read Sai Satcharitra.
I read it for 2 days, I didn’t complete it but in those 2 days He did a miracle and relieved me from the sorrow. He removed my 9 months of pain in just 2 days. It was then that I realised my mistake and from then He have been helping me in each and every aspect of my life. From my childhood I have been a person full of fears, I used to fear for each and everything, even to speak to someone or even to walk on road. But I don’t know why I didn’t turn towards Him to help me, instead I used to be in those fears and made my life fearful and horrible. After I realised my mistake, Baba helped me overcome my fears. Even now I have some fears, and I know they are silly, but I am not able to overcome them. But I am sure He will make me overcome all those. This site has helped me a lot in getting closer to Him. I have many incidents in which Baba helped me and turned me into a better person. But firstly I would like to describe how Baba decided my career and gave me a bright future.
I always had a dream to study abroad in a good university since I was in school. I love mathematics but due to the circumstances I joined B. Tech. Computer science & Engineering in a not-so-good college, in Hyderabad. I do not have a decision-making skill. I cannot make decisions in even a simple aspect. I always get confused and cannot stick to one thing. I had an unstable nature. Same thing was with my career too. I was always confused what to study after my B. Tech. I was strongly determined that I must study and achieve a good position, but I was not getting to know what I actually like. I used to get bored of routine math problems and routine computer software development. I was interested in mathematics and even in programming. I searched a lot and chose to study computational mathematics/Computational engineering in my Master’s because it involved mathematics and programming as well. But I actually didn’t like the application part of that course because I wanted a discipline, which involves analytical thinking and research- oriented and I used to search for a much better one, which would be interesting to me.
I used to sometimes think of Computational sciences and sometimes computer science and sometimes HRM, as I also liked that. I was always in confusion. After I realised my mistake for forgetting Baba, from then on wards I became totally dependent on Him. I used to ask Him each and every thing and obey whatever He says. I left the decision of my career also to Him. This is how He showed my career path.
One day I got an email from my college to attend an interview. That day was a Thursday. I generally check the company’s profile before attending any interview. But I don’t know why I did not do it that day. Actually, Baba made me not to see it otherwise all this would have not happened. I asked Baba in Q&A site about the interview. I got the answer as “Success will be gained. Festival will be celebrated”. I went to the college along with my friend. Then I came to know that it was for a sales position for a windows manufacturing company. I didn’t enquire about what that company name is, and the position and all other details and simply went and thought that I will get that job because Baba gave me a positive answer.
After I came to know about the company, I got disappointed, but I made my mind that what Baba said will definitely become true and he might have had a different plan. I went to the library and was searching for C (a Computer language) books so that I can get a firm grip on fundamentals. Suddenly I found a book and I took it randomly, I even didn’t know what that subject means, I picked that book somehow as my mind was preoccupied with something. The book was titled ‘ Theory of modeling and Simulation’. I opened the book and found some mathematics in it and felt interested and I took that book as I like maths. Similarly I walked few steps forward and picked another book it was ‘ Discrete-event system simulation’. I observed some similarities between those two books and I took that book. Similarly again I walked few more steps and then again I saw another book related to the same field. How those books came into the Computer Science section is really a miracle and how I exactly picked those books which are of same field is really surprising and there is no branch related to that subject in our college, not even at the Post Graduate level. And I found all those books, in the first year row in the library. In the previous 3 years I had never seen those books in the whole computer science books section. Then I felt that Baba is telling me something. I don’t know how such a thought that Baba is telling me something came into mind. Then I felt that He is telling me about my career. Immediately I prayed Him and asked a confirmation for this.
A Pilli (which means ‘cat’ in Telugu) used to come into the Dilsukhnagar Sai Baba temple, which is near my home. I had seen the cat many times in the temple and I like that pilli. So I said Baba that if you are saying that this is my career, then I have to see the pilli in the temple today after Shej Aarti and that pilli should eat the chapathi, when I give to it. And yes, it happened. I went to Shej Aarti that day night with my parents and I was so excited to know what Baba was going to say. The Pilli came into the temple while the Shej Aarti was going on. I felt very happy, when I saw that. After Shej Aarti, I searched for that pilli, but I could not see it. I got disappointed that Baba did not tell me about my career and still I have to wait for some more days. When I was about to get out of the temple, exactly when I was going out of the gate, I saw the pilli coming into the temple. I felt happy and gave it a piece of chapathi and that pilli ate it. I was overjoyed and I jumped in happiness. Everybody around me was watching me as I behaved like a kid jumping in joy. This is how Baba told me to go for ‘ Modeling and simulation’.
Though I am good at studies, I lack decision-taking capacity and I could not stand on anything I decide and I have an unstable mind. I always suffered because of this nature. I felt very happy as Baba decided for me. I had no second thoughts and simply decided that I am going to study this course (i.e., ‘Modeling and Simulation’). I have no knowledge about that discipline. I even don’t know what it is and if Computer Science people can enter the field or not, the only thing I thought was Baba decided it and it would be right for me. From that day onwards, I started learning about the field. I started my study with those books I got in the library. The discipline is very interesting and it contains all the aspects I had wished to have. It involves Mathematics, programming and analytical thinking as well and now I have also done my final year main project on the same one. I did the project well and Baba was with me in each and every step until I finished the project. I had many disturbances during my project, but Baba helped me in everything. Now I am on my way to applying to universities in USA for a Master’s in Modeling and Simulation. It is Baba, who gave me the project idea and He also suggested me the university for my Master’s. I will describe how He suggested me these in my next posts. Sai Ram!!!!