My Life Journey With Baba – Anonymous Sai Devotee

In today’s post the devotee shares her journey from praying to Lord Sai Baba to not praying Him and then coming back to Him.

Anonymous devotee from USA says: Please do not disclose my name or my mail ID please. I would like to share my experiences with Baba and how I neglected Him though He pulled me towards Him and how I am learning to come to Him again after my terrible mistakes in life. It is a very long story, but I try to cut it short and be more accurate with the most important events.

My parents took me to Shirdi, when I was studying. At that time, I knew that Baba was a God as I used to see His photo everywhere beside other God pictures and I do not know anything about Him. I thought it was just another pilgrimage trip with my family. We went to see Him and by the grace of Him, I could touch His Samadhi. Then and there, the unbreakable contact formed with Him. I cannot do justice with my words to explain the feeling, which I had, when I touched His Samadhi. I could sense and feel positive vibrations throughout my body. I was and am still longing for more of that divine feeling as it was way beyond peaceful and something out of this world and a feeling which I still hold on to. The same feeling was felt, when I touched His stone where He used to sit and I had tears in my eyes unknowingly. This experience had bought me back to Baba in this life.

I went to Baba temple regularly from then on. I prayed Him for my marriage to happen with the one whom I loved. Here, I have to mention that I was born and brought up in a strict orthodox family and my husband was of different caste. I was expecting that I will be thrown out of the family. Though there were lots of initial struggles, only by the blessings of Him, shockingly and surprisingly my parents and in-laws have agreed and we are now happily married. I and my husband went to Shirdi after the marriage and Baba presented us with a beautiful shawl, which He wore. Later, my husband's visa was rejected twice, when he wanted to go out of India for doing his Masters. Only later we realised that this was all the plan of Baba as He saved us from spending money and time unnecessarily and taking a bank loan for his studies. Due to career purpose, I moved out of India alone. I was so sad and I left the Baba’s marble statue at home and I said to Baba, come to me with my husband. Only because of the miracle and blessings of Baba again, my husband got job exactly what he wanted and in the same city, where I am and he got his visa also. And my Baba in the form of marble statue is with us in the puja place. Till now, my story was going smooth. But here comes the worst phase of my life. I neglected Baba. I have everything in my life what I wanted. I was so proud of myself. I did not pray or light lamps in front of Him supporting myself that I am busy with my job and my life. I was drowned in ego and pride. The place where His statue was lying was dark and slowly the darkness entered me and in my life. We went to India and went to Shirdi. The journey was the most horrible journey, which one could imagine. I could not touch His Samadhi or His stone. I could not attend any Aarti. Nothing was working out. I received a huge electric shock and had seen death closely. We had no happiness of visiting India, when we came back. I was doing biggest mistakes in my job unknowingly out of stress of the job. I realised slowly what was happening and the mistakes I did, which I cannot make them alright. This would cost my life, my career and everything. Slowly all the Maya is dissolving in front of my eyes day by day. I realised the biggest mistake, which I had made in my life, neglecting Baba. I cried in front of Him to save me and asking His forgiveness and admitting that I have made mistakes and help me to come out of the problem which I myself had created. I am left with no tears anymore. I was even planning to commit suicide if nothing else works out. Slowly and steadily, I started praying and meditating on Baba. Though I have job stress and literally no time and energy, I still clean His place, light candles and offer food to Him. I chant His name whenever and wherever I am. I would not say that Baba is taking or has taken a revenge on me and brought all the sufferings and miseries. He gave me an opportunity to realize, who I am and the negative qualities, which I have to correct. He brought me more close to Him. We are all His children and if, as a child unknowingly does mistakes, the parents would never leave their children, but try to set them on a right path by being harsh on the child as a last step. And this exactly happens to me right now. I swore on Him that I would never ever do mistakes again knowingly. I would live to serve Him and His children, who are poor and needy. This is His life. Here I have to tell you something. I was not sure if Baba accepted my forgiveness because I made mistakes and maybe Baba thinks that I have to suffer my karma and does not help me to come out of the problem. Baba already showed me a line where He says that “If you would chant My Name, I would wash away all your sins”. Still, I was not convinced. Once I was browsing the net and Baba made me read this story. Once there was a man, who had a vision of Baba in his dream. In his dream, he was jailed and put in a prison. Man asks Baba to bring him out of the prison. Baba says that one has to suffer their karma to be freed from worries. Then the man replies, Baba, since You are the God, You have every power to burn my sins and karma to ashes. Baba says, is it so? Then do you have complete faith on me. Then the man says yes and the next moment he is free. When I read this, I felt like a tight slap on my face telling me to have complete faith on Baba and leave aside all the doubts. When I ask Him to show me a way to problem by Question and Answers, He always suggested me to donate food. On Thursday, I sent packets of food to my colleagues as I have no time to spend with them but I want to give them food. The next day, I got an answer from Baba that He is happy and dancing in joy around Dhuni for the work I have done. Inspite of this, I was foolish to ask Baba repeatedly to come in my dream and also to show me a specific miracle, He was so angry and answered do you want to see materialistic miracles or do you want to have my love and sit on my lap? I never asked Him to show materialistic miracles in my life after that. He Himself came into my dream in the form of a small photo frame. One day, He asked me to worship Goddess. That day, I prayed to Goddess Lakshmi photo, I have in my puja room. I realised in the evening that the day is Varalakshmi Vratam and I felt bad that I did not notice it before; otherwise I would have performed the puja in a grand way. But I was happy that Baba informed me on the same day. Yesterday, He gave me an answer, pray Lord Krishna. In one week, it is Krishnashtami. He hinted me a week before so that I can make my necessary preparations. I am still in that big problem and I pray to Him repeatedly to pull me out. But I stopped crying. I am learning every day how to lead a life, which was given by Baba. I learnt to see Him in the morning as soon as I open my eyes. I learned to ask His permission to go to my work or to any other place. I learnt to remember and offer Him before keeping food in my mouth. I learnt to chant Sai Namam all the time. I learnt to regularly light candles and read Sai Satcharitra and Ashtotharam daily. I learnt to practice our customs and traditions and doing the required pujas to the respective deities on the particular days. I learnt to offer food and money. I learnt to see Baba in every living being. I learnt to see His holy feet whenever I meditate on Him. I leant that my life is His and every breath I take is His. I learnt that there is no “Me”. Om Sai Ram. Thank you Hetal Ji for maintaining this wonderful website.
© Devotees Experiences with Shirdi Sai Baba

Hetal Patil
Hetal Patil
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  1. Very Beautiful experience. this is just a reminder for a lot of us. Never neglect God after we get what we wanted. Always do whatever you can to keep him in your life.

  2. Thank you for posting your experience. I am a new devotee of Sai Baba . I have undergone a big tragedy in my life -one day , i unexpectedly lost my husband -the person whom I loved more than anything in this world. Its almost three years now and I am trying to forget what happened. My mother and I are both praying to Sai baba to help us achieve peace with what happened and to give us a new direction in life .These 3 years have been miserable and not a single day has gone by without tears. I am sincerely praying to Sai baba to give us happiness back in our lives. Sai Baba -please have mercy on this devotee and her family . Om sai ram .

  3. I like that you reflected on what you did and learned much more and became a better person. This reminded of the satcharitra chapter I was reading where Baba said it is not enough if you just read holy books, but also put into practice some of the teachings and you're doing that.

  4. Wonderful experience..He is everywhere and he pulls us towards him when its time for us. I can't stop myself from relating to your story. I am in a mess and praying and chanting his name regularly. I strongly believe that baba will bless me when its time.

  5. Our Deva never leaves our side, all that is required is to call him. May he shine his ever loving light on us all.

    Jai Sairam

  6. What a beautiful experience…it is a reminder to all of us to always try to walk in Baba's path and offer our ego and pride to him.

    I pray for all us to be better devotees of Baba.

    Om Sai Ram

  7. Dear Anonymous,

    I want to say my inner feeling here, To all devotees..please remember one thing, he never take any revenge on us. Even we left him, he never left us. In Each & every sec, he is there with us. As we are the human beings, we are not able to find him when we are feeling ego & prideness.

    Present, whatever you are suffering is that is due to past deeds, thats why again he came in your life to give you peace & relaxation..i.e., our Baba. So, keep faith on him..Thank You..

  8. Jai sairam

    babagaru why are you doing this to me.. you are always with me but not helping me to pray you nicely.. my love is not getting job.. we both want to get married what should i do now.. you can kill me know.. mmm still i should wait for sometime to die i know.. but till that time atleast make me be happy i want to pray you properly nicely i want my love to get settled well.. dear all sai devotees please pray for me.. baba please excuse me
    be with me and help me always i am really very very very sorry
    mmm but i thank you so much still in this worse situation you are my only hope for evrything .. i can only ask you for help.. you are my parents my god my best friend and most importantly my guide in every aspect of my life.. now i am in need of you blessings very badly even my love want your blessing we both need your blessing .. what can i speak now.. baba help me.. sorry baba
    thandri i thank you so much once again for letting me share this..

    om sri sai ram om sri sai ram om sri sai ram please dont test me baba
    please baba help me please help us

    sarvejana sukhinobhavanthu jai sai ram

  9. Sairam…

    I can say that this experience is nicely narrated. "We tend to forget God once we get what we want" or can put it this way,"We remember God only when we are in troubles".
    Baba is merciful God but we should not take it for granted. This is what I learnt from your experience.

    Om Sai..Shree Sai..Jai Jai Sai..

  10. baba is great your experience is very nice..
    om sri sai ram.. baba please help me in making my love life successful i want to get married to the one whom i love so much he is my life you know i feel it is you who blessed me with such a great gift(by giving a sweet person as my love).. be with us always excuse me for all my mistakes help me in completing all my works with shradha and saburi
    give me good nature good thoughts always bless my lover and be with him ..He need your blessings always in everything
    bless my parents a nd his parents finally i request you to bless every one in this world
    excuse me baba sai deva thandri sorry and thank you so much..for letting me write this
    om sri sairam om sri sainathaya namoh namah

    anath koti bramhanad nayaka rajadhiraja yogiraja parabramha sri sachidanand samarth sadguru sainath maharaj ki jai

  11. very wonderful experiance….baba you are very grate & showing the way how to go…..please shower you blessings & mercy at all time for all. Please be with us always sai ma………

    Om Sai Ram

  12. such a wonderful experience. keep faith, and have patience. baba never leave his devotees hand. keep doing what you are doing right now. baba surely bless you soon. and ever , never do that mistake,which you did.
    baba pls bless all of us. keep away us from ego , pride, impatience. increase our faith on you. how worse may be the situation, pls always be with us. increase our love on you. koti koti pranam baba…….

    jai sai ram!

  13. OM SAI RAM






  14. Very nice experience! Baba has helped you in this journey towards discovering your faith in Baba and will continue to help you in life. I liked your last written line that every breath you take is in devotion to Baba, it sounds like you are doing very well in developing your faith and Baba will take care of everything for you. Om Sai Ram!

  15. Sai Ram… Beautifully written. Baba will solve all your problems. Thank you for the post. Jai Sai Ram.

  16. Sai Ram, beautifully explained. it has really increased my faith in baba. May all your problems get solved by baba s blessings. Jai Sai Ram.

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