Today’ experience is also well drafted and very much guiding for all of us. So i wont reveal its content in introduction.
Sai Sister Sudhamayee Ji from India says: Hetal Ji, this is my experience. I referred this to two devotees, who posted comments in my previous experience. I would have replied simply to their comments. But Baba inspired me to write an experience for them. Every time, I sit for prayer and ask Baba. I feel doing some amendments to it. He Himself made me memorize some incidents one after the other and made me complete this. It took 3 days to write this. Please forgive if it is against the custom and norms of your blog. You can edit it at the places, you feel lengthy. But I request you to observe that it doesn’t lose its essence. Thanking you.
Om Sai Ram. Hello all. I am Sudhamayee. I posted four experiences previously. First of all I would like to appreciate Hetal Ji for her wonderful service. Here I straight away enter into experience.
This is in reference to the Anonymous Devotee and Renu Arora Ji, who posted comments in my previous experience Sai Baba Listens Each And Every Word Of His Devotee, dated march 15th, which is as given below.
Anonymous Devotee: “Sudhamayee devotee I dont know whether u r aware how lucky u r to get such frequent dreams from Baba when there r so many of us who dont get such dreams at all and like chatak birds r forever waiting for his light to shine upon us. It was so nice to read ur experience and how ur faith was increased by our dear Baba. His reham is upon all his devotees but dreams r so rare.”
Renu Arora: “Dear Sudhamayee, I don’t why but whenever I read experiences related to sai baba coming in devotees dream I felt very sad because he never comes in my dreams. Today is Thursday I pray to babaji to come in my dream and pls. forgive me for all my past mistake and show me the right path.”
I sensed an instance of grief and deep craving for Baba in your comments. I prayed Baba before writing to inspire me to say something to console your minds. He reminded me of an incident in my life and that I would like to share here. Indeed I thought of posting a simple comment, but Baba turned it into such a lengthy experience. Every time I sit for prayer, I get thoughts of amending this post and I firmly believe that it is Baba, who has written this one through my hands.
I always had a strong desire to offer Baba a Dakshina of Rs.2/-, which in His language meant Shraddha and Saburi. I have a habit of talking to Baba sitting before His picture. I call Him Nanna (means father/papa in Telugu). I always address myself as “We (Me and Baba)” before Him. Like I used to say, “Baba, we should wake up early and prepare for exams. Baba, we should not forget taking record for tomorrow. Baba, we will have to go to temple today.”, and before having food I invite Him “Baba, come and let us have lunch/dinner/breakfast.” This is the way I always talk to Baba. Even after sitting for meals, I say His name once for the first piece of food (like I am offering it to Him) and eat it. Once while chit chatting, one of my friends said that there is a practice in some families (including her), not to even perform prayer to God on the day of non-vegetarian consumption. So I thought it is not fair not to invite Baba, while taking non-vegetarian food. So I thought of becoming a vegetarian. That day too, I casually said to Baba “Nanna, You should have told me not to pray to You, while having non-vegetarian food. Why did not You tell me? Anyway, sorry for the inconvenience. From tomorrow, strictly I will not eat non-vegetarian. Although I declared it simply, internally I felt very sad and bad because chicken and fish are my favourite dishes. That night, Baba came in to my dream. He directly stepped out of the picture (original picture taken in 1916 with Bhuti Ji, Bhago Ji, etc.) in our prayer room and stood before me. He stretched His hand calmly. I had two Re. 1/- coins in my hand. I thought for a while and gave only one Re. 1/- coin to Him. He then came in to the dining hall and sat in the chair, in which I always sit. There was rice and mutton kheema curry before Him. I got afraid if He would reject it. But to my surprise, He took rice and mixed it with the curry and ate it, without any sign of anger or discomfort in His face. He ate the first piece of food and disappeared. Now I occupied that place and started eating the same curry.
In the morning, when I woke up, I understood that I need not give up eating non-veg and that Baba is indeed accepting my first piece of food every day. This happened in the year 2004. But why did I offer Him only Re. 1/- instead of Rs. 2/- as per my desire. I wondered if it is not my illusion. But Baba cleared my doubt. One day in my dream, when I was standing outside Baba’s temple, a person has put a coin in my hand. It is of medium size. I thought it would be some monetary coin. But to my surprise there was Baba’s figure carved in it. Baba comes in to my dreams in the form of idol or picture often. I thought this is one of those usual dreams. But the very next day, a small headline in news paper drew my attention. It read “Shirdi Sansthan releases coins with Baba figures carved”. It happened just a day before that is the exact day, when I dreamt. From then, I never doubted His dreams. I understood that even His name cannot be heard in the dreams without His desire and permission.
The one rupee, I offered Him, is Shraddha. I always had strong belief in Him. But Saburi is a thing, which is entirely opposite to my nature. I am a very angry natured and short tempered girl. I always wanted things to be done at instance and had no patience for anything. A girl like me can never even imagine of having Saburi. So, I ignored it. But our Baba’s plans were different.
I had a close friend in my B. Tech. days. She is good, but had a defect, jealousy. She always felt jealous of me. She stops talking and doesn’t even look at my face if I secure better marks than her. I wanted to change her and I gifted her Saibaba’s Satcharitra. I bought the book with the reward money that I got for being one of the toppers in the college. I did not buy anything even for my sake with that money. But she was as usual harsh towards me. When campus interviews were on, she got selected in a very big MNC in her first attempt. I got a job in a very small company and that too after losing in many MNCs. I explained this in my first post “Believe in Saibaba of Shirdi”. Even I did not join that company for some personal problems. Mean while I joined PG only because of the grace of Baba. When I was trying for some central services, I caught migraine. I used to suffer frequent attacks of migraine. I felt it like hell to attend coaching classes from morning to night and prepare for exam. I struggled a lot for it. I have undergone many insults, failures and lots of strain. Results were out in the month of December 2011 and I got disqualified. I was in a bitter disappointment. In January 2012, I met that old jealous friend in Baba’s temple. She is very happy with the well paid job and said that she is reading the Satcharitra book regularly and said Baba is listening to her prayers very well. She pitied me saying, “I feel sad upon looking people like you, who sit idle at home in spite of having talent. At least you should have joined as a faculty in any college”. I lost face. I always thought that Baba chose her as His devotee and used me as a mediator to plunge her towards Him. She has been praying Baba from then and she is celebrating for 3 years of her devotion. I am happy for that. But why I am still being tested badly though I was worshipping Him for past 10 yrs. Why these many insults, failures? What did she do in her past incarnation for such a great fate? I questioned all this to Baba. Seeking an answer, I opened Satcharitra. It opened exactly at the chapter of 18-19. The Leela furnished in it is Hemadpant Ji feeling sad exactly with the same doubt as mine. My friend replaces Sattey Ji there. The message of Baba is to observe Saburi and remember Him like baby tortoise and His divine vision would grant everything to His devotee. I think I need not explain everything in the chapter because you would have definitely read it. But see how relevant was His message. Although I read that chapter many a times before, I never understood its importance so much that I did on that particular day. I got goose bumps on reading it and only on that day, I extracted the real essence of it.
Upon reading it, I firmly asked Him to bless me with Saburi. I begged Him that I am weak to offer “two rupees” to Him and it can be given to Him only if He desires to take it from me. It is He, who has to bless me with Shraddha and Saburi. That day in the afternoon, when I was having a nap, I got a dream. Baba sat before a temple and I was sitting very far away from Him. There were a woman and a little girl before the temple. Baba was asking them for Dakshina. On looking this, I thought in my mind “He is not my Baba. If at all, He is Baba, why should He ask people for money? He is some fake saint”. As if He reads my mind, Baba took His Joli (cloth bag in which he puts food items. I don’t know the exact English word) and His Satka, stood up and declared “From now, I decided not to ask anyone for Dakshina”. On listening to this statement I thought “Oh. He is resisting money. Yes, He is my Baba”. On feeling strongly, He is my Baba, it took out a Rs. 2/- coin and stretched my hand to offer to Baba. As Baba was heading towards me, He noticed me willing to offer Him money. He looked at me and said “You said that you don’t want to offer Me money”. I kept quiet, but strongly prayed in my heart that He should take it. I was still sitting and Baba was passing by my side. His left hand came very close to my face and I appealed to Him silently again by raising my hand holding the money. He took Rs. 2/- with His left hand and went away. I woke up in half an hour after this dream and remembered everything only during my evening prayer. When Baba was asking the women and girl for Dakshina, I felt that it is only “money”. Later I realized it is not mere money, but it has some spiritual importance. That is why I gave Him Rs. 2/- and that means I offered Baba Shraddha and Saburi rather Baba blessed me with Shraddha and Saburi. This is the happiest thing for me. This dream dispelled all my discouragement and gave new hopes. Now I am as confident as ever and have hopes of getting a good job.
After almost 8 years of offering Him Rs. 1/-, and after almost 10 yrs of my worship, Baba gave me the chance of offering Rs. 2/-. Though I dream Him in picture and idol forms frequently, it is after a long time of 2 yrs, He came into my dreams in bodily form. I request both (Anonymous Devotee and Renu Arora Ji) of you to observe this. We all are His children and He loves everyone equally. He may follow different ways of blessing different devotees, but His love remains same for all. How could a mother show dis-proportioned love towards His children? He might have appeared to us in bodily form in reality itself, but we would have not noticed His presence. Let us remember Him and wait with Shraddha and Saburi for His grace to shower upon us. Please no one of us should feel sad if He doesn’t appear in dreams. Instead we have to realize it as the opportunity that He has given us to observe Saburi. Sorry if spoke anything over intelligent. I am just 24 years old girl and haven’t learnt the world much to suggest great devotees like you. I just wrote whatever Baba inspired me too. Please forgive me if I spoke anything wrong. Sorry even for the length of the post. Thanking you.