Today another anonymous Sai sister from India shares her experience.
She says: Dear Hetal ji, Thank you for creating a wonderful blog for sai devotees. I was a person who was skeptical about prayer and God. But a remarkable experience has changed all that and I wish to share this with others. Please forgive me for this lengthy experience. Please do not post my name.
When I was a child I was very interested in anything to do with prayer, stories, movies about God, meditation etc. But sometime later I lost faith – Initially I thought If I asked God to do something for me and promising to do something in return is a kind of bribe to God. It never occurred to me that we can ask God for something without taking any vow. so I stopped asking God for anything. I rarely prayed and used to do or participate in Pooja only for others sake. Some bad experiences in life completely made me loose faith.
At that point in time, I had a room partner who was very religious and going through a severe problem. She had a book about sai baba. I liked reading stories, so I started reading that book and somehow I was very sincere in reading that book. I sat properly and only when I was clean etc. One day, I met a woman who told me looking at me significantly that “Faith is life”. That day I prayed to Baba that If you really exist come in my dream. He didnt come and I left it at that. My friends problem didnt get solved even after many vows and severe vrats and I rarely thought about God.
After almost five years, my marriage was fixed. The day before my engagement I discovered that the guy has lied about his job and studies and I couldn’t do anything then and even after engagement also I had a hard time convincing my parents that the boys side people have lied. At last my parents believed me and told me that not having a proper job is not that important, all reports say that he is a good person so you can adjust about the job, but they gave me an option to decide for myself before a certain date. They arranged for a homa at our native place before that date. The day I was leaving for pooja, I was very much upset and at that time my eyes fell on Sai baba photo which I had bought for a friend when I visited Shirdi, but somehow I kept postponed to give it. In despair, I prayed to Baba to advice me on what to do by next day morning before the homa was finished. I was upset the whole day and in the evening when we entered the bus stand, I was thinking like “Does Baba exist or I am just mad?” and directly before me I saw a huge photo of Baba, we got into the bus and before my seat there was a photo of Baba along with the words “Why fear when I am here”, we went to stay at a relative’s house that night and I saw that they were ardent devotees of Baba and his picture was in every room of their house. The next day we went to the temple for the homa and I saw that there was a very small statue of Baba under the tree just before the place where I was performing the pooja. Pooja got over, we returned home that evening and I was thinking – I was foolish to expect a sign – and the next moment I had a call from my sister-in-law, she had an accident at exactly the same time of the pooja and she escaped death narrowly and instead she had collar bone fracture, her 2 wheeler was completely damaged. I put the phone down and next to it I saw a key chain with Baba’s picture which I had never noticed before. Imagine my surprise! because I prayed to Baba that you can harm anyone in their family if they are of bad sort but leave her because she seemed to be good, and he saved her. All these might be coincidences, but all of them happening at the same time and in sequence was too much and I had to accept that Baba very much exists and he is listening to us.
I went ahead with the marriage praying to Baba that you showed that you exist so take care of me. We got separated after 2 months of marriage, our families are not compatible with each other and consequently it led to separation even when we were trying to adjsut to each other. One night after a month of seperation, I was scolding my husband and his family in my dream and suddenly I saw a big picture of Baba before my eyes – I was afraid to look at Baba when he came out of the picture – He was so bright and I saw only his feet and I fell on his feet. I got up with that dream. I do not know the meaning of that dream, but I take it that I should stop blaming my husband and in-laws. I try very hard not to blame. But its been many months and I am afraid I loose all hopes of a solution. A few days ago I realised that this incident in my life has brought me closer to Baba and whatever he has in mind for me I dont know but I am trying hard to accept. I had many such experiences during the past few months. I always believed that God helps those who help themselves and in this situation I do not know what I should do and I pray to Baba to show me a path, the path is not seen but now I believe that may be sometimes we have to accept what comes to us in our lives and leave all our burdens on Baba.