First of all let me share with you few sweet lines written by one of my Sai brothers who wishes to be anonymous.
Teri Chahton Ka Aisa Hua Hai Asar Baba,
Jidhar Dekhta Hoon Ab Tu Hi Nazar Aata Hai Baba,
Darshan Ko To Pehle Bhi Aata Tha Jaane Kyu,
Ab To Bus Milna Julna Chahta Hoon Baar-Baar Baba.
Shirdi To Pehle Bhi Gaya Tha, Jaane Kitni Baar
Ab To Tera Nagar Bhi Lagta Hai Apna Ghar Baba
In this post i am sharing experience of a Sai sister who does not want her name to be disclosed.
She says : Sai Ram Hetalji i reside in Delhi. I started worshiping BABA after meeting a stranger in the train last year. She asked me to observe Thursday fast it will help me to get a good job & i collected all the information about Sai Baba from your blogs. I must say your blogs are such platforms for Sai devotees which gives us the opportunity to associate as a Sai family. This is true that i became a Sai devotee after reading your blogs thnanks a lot for such a wonderful gift to Sai devotees.
Hetalji i would like to share my experiences with all, it is long but you can edit it where required & please don’t disclose my name & mail Id.
Sai Ram to all
My association with Sai Baba goes back to past 1 year when i was traveling for my hometown, i met a lady who was a devotee of Sai Baba. She started talking to me and told that her whole family observes Sai Vrat & this is very much fruitful and Baba fulfills all the wishes of His devotees. I was in the last semester of my MBA but due to recession facing problems in getting a good job. After coming back from my home-town, i planned to observe the Sai Vrat from coming Thursday and purchased Sai Vrat Katha book. I observed the fast from next Thursday with lots of happiness in my mind. That was the time when i started coming closer to our beloved Baba. After one Thursday i wanted to know much about Baba & surfed on internet to gather much information & came across your blogs which undoubtedly helped me to became a true Sai devotee & provided me with all the information about Baba. Every day i use to read experiences of devotees & gather information about Baba & used to tell everything to my husband. One Thursday i got the opportunity to visit Lodhi Road Sai Baba temple which is very much famous in Delhi. This was the first time when me & m y husband visited a Sai temple. We were so happy that day. Day by day i was feeling a strong association with Baba. It was the time when we really needed Baba’s help because my husband’s business was not doing well & i was also jobless. In April’09 i was reading a experience in your blog while reading this thought came in my mind that observing fast may not be enough to please Baba, so i decided to quit my favourite food rice until i get the job & my husband’s business settles down & then i will offer rice to Baba in Shirdi then only i would eat rice. I kept observing the fast & praying to Baba. I completed 11 Thursdays and then i did the Udyapana by distributing the food & Sai Vrat Katha books in Sai temple. Till that time i had a small picture of Sai Baba. I wanted to have an idol of Baba at my home. I purchased Baba idol with His Singhasana (throne) from Sai temple. I wished that my husband can do the Sthapana (installation) of Baba at our home as my husband has lost his faith in Baba. He just came to temple to accompany me. Baba listened the voice of my heart & some circumstances arose & we had a fight & i packed all the God & Goddess photo along with small temple we have at our home. I stopped talking to my husband. I went to the kitchen somehow my husband realised my faith in Baba & when i entered in the room. I saw my husband placing Baba in the temple & worshiping him. I was surprised & thanked Baba for listening to my heart’s wish. At the same time i went for so many interviews but nothing went positive anywhere, day by day i was losing hope but every time some incident took place which made me feel that Baba is there to help us. My husband had lost his faith on Baba and he used to tell me not to do any fast & worship. I used to talk to Baba to make my husband realise His presence. Everything was going negative for both of us. One day i came to know about Sai Satcharitra parayan. I was searching for Sai Satcharitra. I came to know about free delivery of holy book through this blog. I started parayan from next Thursday with lots of happiness & hope in my heart but again nothing turned positive for us. One day we planed to go to Shirdi & easily we got the tickets in peak season of June. I was so happy as i was going to Shirdi for the first time when i reached to Kopergaon station i had tears in my eyes and happiness in my heart even my husband was happy too. We reached Shirdi in the afternoon & went for darshan in the evening & arti. We prayed to Baba to provide us with a proper life settlement which is not possible without my job & my husband’s business. I promised Baba to offer my first month salary in Shirdi. We went for Kakad arti in the morning next day. We both prayed for the same. Here i would like to mention that we married without our parent’s permission. Even our parents are not aware with our marriage because we both belong to different casts & our family would have never allowed us for the marriage. We planed to talk to our families after a proper settlement so that our parents cannot oppose.
But situations were becoming worst day by day. Me and my husband were losing our faith in Sai Baba but i always kept in my mind Baba’s words Shraddha & Saburi and talked to Baba in my lonely times & cried to help us. One day my husband had a major cut in his palm. Due to pain, he was not able to sleep. I took a pinch of holy Udi and applied on my husband’s forehead & the pain vanished away miraculously. My husband slept. Next morning i asked my husband about Udi Ma’s miracle & he accepted it. I started observing the Thursday fast again but still i was not able to complete this fast. Every time i observe the fast & could not continue due to different reasons. The time was passing but we could not stand on our feet again. Our hope was losing. I used to complain Baba. My husband stopped worshiping Baba & asked me to do so but i asked him to have faith in Baba. He is there to take care of us. One day i got an interview call from one of the good MNC’s. I went for the first round, everything was good but again nothing positive came to us. After a month when we had lost the hope for that interview i got call for 2nd round. I was suffering from jaundice & was not feeling well. But i went for the same. We both were very much hopeful as interview was good. I was supposed to get the feedback within next 3-4 days. Again i didn’t get any positive feedback & cried a lot before Baba. I was so much depressed & challenged Baba to give me a job. This was the time when we both had totally lost our faith in Baba. But after 2 weeks, i got a call from the same company they wanted me to join within next week. I was in my home. At that time my parents were happy & my husband was so much happy. We both thanked Baba. I apologized Baba for losing faith in Him & promised as soon as i will get the offer letter i will post my experience in your blog. On December 15, i went to office for joining. I was waiting for the joining formalities. Four hours passed but nobody was there to complete formalities. Being MBA i was interviewed for a very good profile but in the evening i got to know they are offering me a secretarial profile. This was a cheating and nothing else. When i came from the office i cried alot & asked Baba why Youhave made fun of me? Now everybody is asking me about my first day in the office. My family was concerned about me. But i cannot disclose what happened with me. I had so many complaints for Baba because everything was dependent on my job. We wanted to convince our parents for our marriage & we dont have financial strength. All our life is depends on my job & my husband’s business. Baba gave us everything we asked but He is not providing us the financial security by my job. Today my husband doesn’t trust on Baba & stoped worshiping Him. Even i am angry with Baba for what he has done to us. But i still have hope. 10 -12 days earlier i was crying while talking to Baba at bedtime & i had a dream that night that i was talking to Baba sitting infront of each other & Baba gave me a hug. I dont remeber the conversation & after that i went a Shiv temple & saw a big Shivling made of silver. The priest asked me to worship but i could not do so because i did not had a bath. Next morning i was trying to understand the meaning of this dream but still i am not able to understand. After 2-3 days my husband came as he comes once in a month to meet me. We had discussion about our settelment issue & he accepted that he dont trust Baba now. I can not make him to do so i prayed Baba to realise my husband Your power & Your presence with us. After a week i had a dream that i am at my hometown. I saw that there is a temple of Baba at my neighbour’s home. Just infront of my parent’s home & i saw Baba’s idol with a Sheshnag Mukut on His head. I would mention here that there is no Sai temple in my hometown & there is a hidden wish in my heart to built up a Sai temple in my hometown. If i would became capable of it but i could not understand the meaning of these dreams. But still have hope that Baba will surely provide us with a settlement & our parents will accept our marriage & my husband will start worshiping Baba as earlier. I request you all to describe me the meaning of my dreams if any one can.
Baba i have faith in You. You are our only hope please. Help us as You know we really need your help & please gorgive me & my husband for our sins.