Shirdi Sai Baba Devotee Jayanthi says: Namaste, Hetal, I happened to visit your website sometime back. Though it was a brief visit, I could appreciate your faith and dedication to Sai Baba. He is such a blessing in our lives.
I’m Jayanthi, born and brought up in Bangalore. I’m a teacher basically but have taken a break from my job for the past two years. I have attached a file which contains a letter I wrote to my friend sometime back telling her about how Baba entered my life. I thought I could share it with you as well. I will definitely visit your website more often.
I’m writing this to share with you something that I have shared with very few people so far. A very sacred event that changed the course of my life. I’m going to share with you how my Divine Master entered my life as a blessing. I’m doing this because you are someone who is fortunate to be blessed with the presence of the Master in your own life and thus understand the significance of it all.
It is said that the Master arrives when the student is ready. My Master came into my life like a blessing a little more than five years ago transforming it in every sense. Way back in 2003, just before going to bed one night, I was praying from the depth of my heart in front of the picture of Sri Raghavendra Swami, a great spiritual Master. I had just then finished my advanced course in Pranic Healing and I was pleading Him to make me a good healer when suddenly I felt a strong Force pulling me from behind. I was taken aback with surprise!!! I was forced to take backward steps until I reached the window where I had placed a small calendar on which were printed the pictures of Sri Sai Baba of Shirdi. I turned around to find His picture but didn’t understand what was happening!!! Though some of my students would give me the pictures of Baba every now and then, I had never paid any attention to Him till then.
I simply bowed down and begged Him to let me know whatever it was that He wanted me to know. (I now realize that He has had a lot of things to say) That was the blessed day that He chose to manifest Himself in my life. It is said that devotees don’t go to Baba but when the time is ripe, it is He who pulls them to Himself. He would call all such people He would draw to Himself as His sparrows. And it gives me a great amount of joy to realize that I’m one of His sparrows!!!
My faith in Baba grew gradually and it continues to grow by the day. From being someone very cynical, extremely ego-centric and shallow, I am now realizing a broader horizon and understanding the depth of life and existence because Baba has been helping me open my heart and know that there is a better way to live. He was a great healer Himself when He lived in a body about a hundred years ago. And when in all naïve simplicity I begged God to make me a “good healer”, Baba entered my life. And like the proverbial, “Healer, heal thyself”, I was made to understand that I had to undertake the journey of healing my life, my past, my fears, my flaws and my inhibitions.
I now understand that you cannot heal others unless you are healed yourself. Though the healing process has begun, I have a long way to go – I’m aware of this. I also understand that the “I” is a nonentity and the one who heals is the “Higher Force” we call God. But when you are connected to the Higher Force through your spiritual inclination and a pure way of living, you can act as a channel for the Higher Force to flow through you.
I now understand how transitory everything in this world is and the only permanent source of peace and love is God; Sai Baba, Whom I fondly call “Father”, is the manifest aspect of God in my life. I also understand that all the Masters in this world are the same in essence and are one with God.
It is indeed difficult to express how intently my Divine father has been helping me to heal my life and is guiding me in every sense. Countless issues that had been buried deeply within for many, many lifetimes are coming up to the surface for healing and release. I’m becoming aware of the many not-so-good aspects within my own self. Initially it was very difficult to accept all the seemingly “evil things” within because my ego had held me under the belief that “I was good without flaws”… it feels like a joke now!!! I’m kind of getting used to this cleansing process and am aware that this process is very healing and also inevitable keeping my spiritual evolution in view.
In Kabbalah it is said that – “If you should feel the evil within, be proud and grateful. This means that you have merited the revelation of your evil. Every time we feel a new sensation of evil, we should be happy, because the next phase will be the reception of Light.”
Recently I happened to read about the teachings of Kabbalistic philosophy for the very first time and was amazed to realize that its essence beautifully explains the spiritual truths that I’m beginning to understand in my own life. It states that when one makes a degree of ascent in the spiritual life, one needs to invariably fall down by a degree only to rise higher up. This upward and the downward swings are inevitable until we are completely healed and can reflect the “Light” we call God perfectly well. This is when we become one with God and the purpose of life and our creation is realized. This helped me understand what is happening in my life beautifully. Two years back, there was a sudden spiritual spurt in my life and I was filled with such spiritual fervour that I had never experienced before. It came unasked for and lasted for almost a year when I had amazing and thrilling spiritual experiences. (It will make a very long story and so I will share them with you some other time.) And with the same sudden intensity came the downfall… a phase of void and emptiness. I’m glad this is happening because I now understand that I’m only waiting to bounce back with greater intensity and grow and heal further as a person.
Though I have certain anxieties about my future and feel bewildered once in a while, I’m most often aware of all the twists and turns that my life is taking. Every thing, every little thing in my life is being constantly guided by my Master in order for me to realize the purpose of my life to realize and become one with God. Salvation is not a sudden, one-time happening, it is a gradual process like the blooming of a flower.
Through the grace of my Master, I have made a humble beginning in my spiritual life though I’m aware that I have a long, long way to go. It is the time given for me to heal and reconsider my priorities in life; change my perception and heal my vision. It is only during those moments when my faith wavers that I become anxious about my future but deep within, I’m aware that each one of us are constantly being guided by our Higher Selves and God.
With warm regards,