Shirdi Sai Baba Miracles and Leela in this Post:
This is the time when Sai came into my life. I started to know about Him and prayed to Him. I started to do the Thursday 9 week fast. Sai was my only friend. Things were beyond my control and I could not do anything. All I could do was to just repeat the name of ‘Sai’ and this is what I did. It was truly a very anxious and stressful period. The relations ship between by husband and me started being very tensed and strained. Whatever I said he was getting angry. We were spending a lot of money for courses and exams and this was very stressful. My only hope was Sai. I placed everything in His Lotus Feet. Every time I was down, I used to repeat His Name and I felt a better. He would cheer me up in many ways. He is a very unique God. He knows your mind and He will help you. He gave me His Darshan many time here through pictures, whatsapp, email etc. I can write a whole book on the little incidents which happen and He showed me He was with me. We had one last try remaining and we did it and was waiting for the results. Please remember this was the only try that Sai was there for. For all the previous attempts, I didn’t know who Sai was. Few friends who had done this exam before told us that they passed only because of Sai and He helped them.
The results were supposed to come in a week. We were really very anxious that all our hopes will be dashed to the ground again. But I had full faith and confidence that Sai will not let me down. I was hoping the result will come on a Thursday, but the email arrived on Wednesday. My hands were shivering when I opened the results. Guess what, it was successful. Our joy grew no bounds We could hardly believe it. Who can go wrong with Sai in their life? I believe Sai gave me the results one day earlier as He did not want to give us more anxiety. I am so thankful that I have Sai in my life. I don’t know what I will do without Him. He really takes care of you and does not leave you. Believe Him and just be patient. He makes the impossible–possible. Thank You Sai, for giving me the best news of my life. This was the news that we have been waiting for 6 years. It took long but the results were good. For anyone waiting on Sai, please do not lose hope. Place your trust on Sai and He will not leave you anytime. He is my best friend. Now I hope and pray that He will help my husband find a good job. Shri Sachidanand Sadguru Sainath Maharaja Ki Jai.
But for some reason, I don't feel any close to You now I don't know. The pain and stress because of the relationship and job issues has taken a toll on me. I also have a health problem but I hope it goes away and I become normal again. I have never been so depressed in my life like this. It's been long since I felt normal or felt good about myself. I don't find anything interesting or any inspiration to do something. There is no night that I didn't wish 'I hope this night lasts forever and I don't have to get up and deal with my life'. My life has become so unpredictable, I don't know what I want to do with it. I feel not good enough or worthy for anything. I want to get out of all these thoughts and be peaceful but I am unable to do so. May be if it was not for my Mom and Dad, I would have killed myself. Baba please take care of mom and dad, bless them with health and happiness. I am also an unworthy daughter, I only cause trouble to my parents. They are very unlucky to have a weak daughter with so low self esteem and confidence (But I was not like this before but all my experiences changed me).
But You know what, I am very happy about I got very close to God during this phase. I love Him a lot. I love Sai Sri Man Narayan. I place my heart before His Feet. I take some time everyday to sing Kirtan or Stotram about God. That's the most favourite part of my day (But sometimes I am too depressed that I don't do anything including the prayer). I still want to get close to God. I am praying to Him to give strength to calm my mind and take away all the pain and suffering and restore peace and tranquillity in me and to be content with what I have. I also pray Him to help me forget that person and all the memories and move on with my life. My prayers have not been answered yet but I know Sai Ram will help me and answer my prayers. I will keep worshiping Him and increase my love and devotion towards Him with His help. Thank You, Sai Sri Man Narayan for the job and blessing me with my parents. Please also help me be a good daughter to them. I love You. I have placed my heart at Your Feet. Please help me love You and connect to You even more. Please give me the strength to calm my mind Please take away the pain, the suffering. Restore peace and tranquillity in my mind.
In mean-while, after a hard search, i got a job in another state as fresher. It’s been 5 years I am away from my family and waiting for my guy to settle. It’s been hard time for me to run away from all the matches which my parents show and also waiting for the guy settlement. I can’t tell them that I am in touch with him and also can’t say that I am waiting for him. Looking at all these, if I see myself, I am 30 years and guy is in U.S doing his last semester of his masters. I feel I did something against Baba’s wish as I am going through so much of torture, as in all these i have always been in touch with Baba, doing 9 Guruvar Vrat, daily putting garland, reading Sai Satcharitra and all. I only think I am giving my past karma deeds. I also applied for H1 and even that did not get selected in lottery. So I am not able to know what is correct for me. Or Baba is showing me a path and I am not able to see it. Please Baba show me a path in smooth way. I do not want any calamities in my family or in his family. Show me the path and make me understand. I think I have been foolish to not get Your way.
© Devotees Experiences with Shirdi Sai Baba