Sai Ram Hetal Patil - I have had a recent experience of Sai Leela that I was wondering, if you could post on your blog so that I can share it with other devotees. I am attaching a word document where I have written about my experience and thoughts. Please let me know if you think this can be posted and shared with other devotees.
May Baba bless you,
Agar Baba Nahi Aatey Toh Mai Kabhi Bhi Theek nahi ho paati (Had Baba not come himself, I would have never been cured and lived my whole life in dismay)
Dear Baba Ji’s Devotees, I cannot describe in words what I experienced myself. As I mentioned in the opening lines above, Had Baba not come himself I would have never been cured of what I was going through. Since beginning of year 2008, I started suffering from anxiety attacks, extreme restlessness of mind and depression. People who have gone through depression and other psychological issues would understand what I am referring to as it’s not easy to come out of them since your mind is not in your own control. I tried going to a counselor, tried meditation for short period of time, chanting, medication for anxiety but still it would only help me for a very short period of time. Nothing, Nothing, Nothing was completely helping me. My parents and friends were worried as I was getting weaker. I live away from my family (they are in India) in a foreign land with my older sister who is a firm devotee of Baba.
One day I was in a pretty bad shape and was totally sunk in the mouth on anxiety and depression. My sister reads Sai Satcharitra everyday and keeps a small photo of Baba in it as a bookmark. That day she again prayed to Baba for me and she was sitting on the sofa when Sai Satcharitra fell off to the floor from the sofa. She was really scared as she took it as a bad omen that something bad will happen as this has not happened before. Amidst all this confusion, she forgot to open and read the page which had opened up itself when Sai Satcharitra had fallen on the floor. It seems Baba had something planned already!
We have a photo of Baba Ji in every room. In my bedroom, I have a photo of Baba hanging on the wall behind my bed which is exactly above the center of my bed. I always sleep on the left side of the bed but that night somehow without realizing I slept on the center of the bed right below Baba’s photo (all HIS plan!). I dreamt about death of a lady in someone’s house and they were doing rituals for the lady who had passed away. While still in my dream, I heard a very scary and wicked laugh that terribly scared me. Just then still in the dream listening to that scary laugh, I started getting up slowly as I felt as if someone came and touched me physically (I don’t know how to describe that experience) and just then my eyes opened and I saw an orange colored wave swirl above me for a flash of seconds. It’s hard for me to remember everything as it all happened within flash of seconds and my eyes had just opened up. I have never been so scared in my life before. The first thought that came to my scared mind was may be some evil spirit trying to touch me or possess me. Just then the next moment, I thought of Baba and thought how anything evil could come in my room when I have Baba’s photo and I was lying right under it.
I was still very scared, sweating and shaking and called my sister who got equally scared and took me to her room. I lied on her bed, shivering and sweating. I was chanting Baba’s name in my heart to protect me. Another thought came to me, that if it was something evil, how could I still be chanting Baba’s name in my heart? I told my sister about it and she said that orange is Baba’s color it cannot be something evil that woke you. I then fell asleep in her room and had another dream in which I saw Hanuman Ji and somehow my heart said that I should chant Hanuman Chalisa. When I woke up the next time, I felt no fear at all, I got up, went to the small temple we have in our home, touched Baba Ji’s idol with my hands. Somehow, my mind was very peaceful.
Next day my sister called me and told that the one who touched you last night in the sleep was NO other than Baba HIMSELF! I asked her how and she said that she read the page that had opened up by last night when Sai Satcharitra had fallen from the sofa. It was first page of Chapter 6 that talks about “Efficacy of the Touch of Guru’s Hand.” This clearly means that Baba first scared me in my dream and then woke me up so that with the fright he would take away all my anxiety and depression. The death that I saw in my dream most likely meant death of my anxiety, depression and restlessness. That’s how Baba used to cure his devotees by first making them suffer in the dreams and then curing them and taking their suffering away. I could not believe it!! I still get tears in my eyes and choke whenever I think of it. Mere DEVA, Mere MALIK, I am such a diminutive devotee who was suffering and you yourself came all the way to cure me…you came to my small home and touched my unclean skin with your holy touch (I had not even taken shower that day due to state of depression). You came to me and I could not even recognize you (how foolish could I be!!) don’t know what words to say…
Had Baba not come himself and cured me, I would have never been able to get out of that mental suffering and suffered my entire life with depression. I feel my sins have been washed away and my suffering would now end. Since that day, my condition has begun to improve gradually by its own self without any medication or therapy my mind became more stable and at peace. I try to chant Hanuman Chalisa in the morning and also try to take a pinch of Baba’s Vibhuti (Udi) with water as medicine as I think that would cure me permanently.
I would humbly request all Sai Baba devotees to kindly share this with other devotees who may be suffering from mental ailments to take Udi with water everyday and pray to Baba so that he cures all of them and may their sufferings end soon by his divine aura.
We may forget about Baba but HE never forgets about us...
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